Jokes 3 & 4

Joke no. 3 (kind of like two jokes in one... kinda long)


A man ( okay let's name him umm... John? Okay...) boarded a bus. As John forgot he did not bring his ez-link card, he had to pay by coins so he took out 55 cents. As he took out his money, a photo came out of his wallet and landed under a girl's skirt. Not knowing what to do, he went up to the girl and said,"Umm, can you lift up your skirt, i want to take a photo."
So John was bashed up in the bus and was brought to the hospital.

At the hospital, John saw his friend, Tom, on the hospital bed beside him and he asked him what happened to him and his friend told him what happened:

Tom was walking home and was tired so he decided to find somewhere to spent the night then head home in the morning. He saw some houses up ahead so he walked to the first door and a man opened the door.Tom said,"I'm far from home, mind if I stay over?"

The man replied,"I want to help but I'm sorry but i have a daughter."

Tom said,"Okay then..."

So Tom went up the second house and a man opened the door and said the same thing as the first so Tom went up to the third door and knocked it.

A man opened the door and Tom said,"I'm far from home, mind if i stay over?"

The man thought for a while before the man could reply, Tom said,"Do you have a daughter?"

The man bashed Tom up.



Joke 4 (this is for Nassim hahaha)

A STRANGE WAR

Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.

"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."

"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young and gullible recruit.

The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'."

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead.

More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him.

"Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use.

The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."


Leon, reporting from my computer. lol.