Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
A. Jell-o!
Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?
A. When you're eating a watermelon!
Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?
A. With cabbage patches!
Q. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
A. Mockaroni!
Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn't concentrate!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Outsiders Chapter 1 pg 1 ( Singapore Version)
The following story is totally fiction and is a SCOOP original. Copyright is prohibitted.
When I stepped out of the brightness of the glaring lights of the Pasar Malam, I only had two things in my mind: Gurmit Sihgn and 5 dollars to top up my EZ-link card to board bus 85. I was wishing to be like Gurmit Sihgn- he has a bald head and I don't- But I guess I could shave my head anytime I want. I have dark black hair and I style it like a Tomahawk. I wish it was sharper so I could poke the Socs with my hair. I am a Geller- A person who gels the hair too much. Most of my neighborhood rarely cuts their hair and gets scolded by the Socs gang leader- Mary K Valance ( get it?).
I had a long walk home and no money- used it all in TIMEZONE- but I usually walk alone anyway, for no reason except that I like to play Time Crisis by myself. My older brother, Dally, actually wanted to tag along to play too but he came too late- that's why his nickname is Dilly-Dally.
To be continued....
When I stepped out of the brightness of the glaring lights of the Pasar Malam, I only had two things in my mind: Gurmit Sihgn and 5 dollars to top up my EZ-link card to board bus 85. I was wishing to be like Gurmit Sihgn- he has a bald head and I don't- But I guess I could shave my head anytime I want. I have dark black hair and I style it like a Tomahawk. I wish it was sharper so I could poke the Socs with my hair. I am a Geller- A person who gels the hair too much. Most of my neighborhood rarely cuts their hair and gets scolded by the Socs gang leader- Mary K Valance ( get it?).
I had a long walk home and no money- used it all in TIMEZONE- but I usually walk alone anyway, for no reason except that I like to play Time Crisis by myself. My older brother, Dally, actually wanted to tag along to play too but he came too late- that's why his nickname is Dilly-Dally.
To be continued....
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Jokes 3 & 4
Joke no. 3 (kind of like two jokes in one... kinda long)
A man ( okay let's name him umm... John? Okay...) boarded a bus. As John forgot he did not bring his ez-link card, he had to pay by coins so he took out 55 cents. As he took out his money, a photo came out of his wallet and landed under a girl's skirt. Not knowing what to do, he went up to the girl and said,"Umm, can you lift up your skirt, i want to take a photo."
So John was bashed up in the bus and was brought to the hospital.
At the hospital, John saw his friend, Tom, on the hospital bed beside him and he asked him what happened to him and his friend told him what happened:
Tom was walking home and was tired so he decided to find somewhere to spent the night then head home in the morning. He saw some houses up ahead so he walked to the first door and a man opened the door.Tom said,"I'm far from home, mind if I stay over?"
The man replied,"I want to help but I'm sorry but i have a daughter."
Tom said,"Okay then..."
So Tom went up the second house and a man opened the door and said the same thing as the first so Tom went up to the third door and knocked it.
A man opened the door and Tom said,"I'm far from home, mind if i stay over?"
The man thought for a while before the man could reply, Tom said,"Do you have a daughter?"
The man bashed Tom up.
Joke 4 (this is for Nassim hahaha)
A STRANGE WAR
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."
"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young and gullible recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'."
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead.
More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him.
"Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use.
The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."
Leon, reporting from my computer. lol.
A man ( okay let's name him umm... John? Okay...) boarded a bus. As John forgot he did not bring his ez-link card, he had to pay by coins so he took out 55 cents. As he took out his money, a photo came out of his wallet and landed under a girl's skirt. Not knowing what to do, he went up to the girl and said,"Umm, can you lift up your skirt, i want to take a photo."
So John was bashed up in the bus and was brought to the hospital.
At the hospital, John saw his friend, Tom, on the hospital bed beside him and he asked him what happened to him and his friend told him what happened:
Tom was walking home and was tired so he decided to find somewhere to spent the night then head home in the morning. He saw some houses up ahead so he walked to the first door and a man opened the door.Tom said,"I'm far from home, mind if I stay over?"
The man replied,"I want to help but I'm sorry but i have a daughter."
Tom said,"Okay then..."
So Tom went up the second house and a man opened the door and said the same thing as the first so Tom went up to the third door and knocked it.
A man opened the door and Tom said,"I'm far from home, mind if i stay over?"
The man thought for a while before the man could reply, Tom said,"Do you have a daughter?"
The man bashed Tom up.
Joke 4 (this is for Nassim hahaha)
A STRANGE WAR
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."
"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young and gullible recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'."
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead.
More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him.
"Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use.
The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."
Leon, reporting from my computer. lol.
Jokes 1 and 2
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
Ryan
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
first entry
Welcome scoopers.
We will commence with operation: give live to class blog next week. Now just sit back and relax
We will commence with operation: give live to class blog next week. Now just sit back and relax
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